I have been quiet of late. My book made it out into the world and the reviews have flawed me. People like this book. It is difficult to look back a few months and remember how distressed I was. I remember saying that if I was going to die any time soon I would prefer that I died before my book launch so that I wouldn't have to face any of it.
I am now glad to be alive. Alive, and finally enjoying the process. I am enjoying the people who like the book, the positive feedback, the book tour, the events. I am still terrified each time I have to get up on a stage but not I am proud to be there standing up for a book I am proud of.
I have started a new thing. I have space now, with the terror abated. I have made a good start and I am beginning to find joy in the writing again. Baby steps. These small moments of pleasure for now. Who knows how I will feel tomorrow and then the next day. One sucker punch from the wrong person and I will be down again for the count.
For now, thanks to the people who prop me up and the ones who believe in me. I am up now, and tentatively walking out into a future that looks surprisingly calm and bright. Day by day. Day by dat.
3 comments:
Krissy,
I bought a couple of your books from you last week (we first met at the Hachette/QWC retreat).
Anyway, I just finished reading Affection and thoroughly enjoyed your writing. Beautiful - the writing reminds me of an Olympic gymnast, so fluid and natural with seemingly no effort behind the easy flow of the words.
I'm inspired!
Regards,
Cathy
Happy to hear this Krissy, that you are okay. I saw you at the Readings Carlton event and to me, you were very relaxed and had a terrific presence. Doesn't show at all (any angst). Look forward to the next one [book]!
i hope you mean 'floored'.
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