back back back

They are all back. They are all bodies, variously beautiful and different. They are all people who have touched me and run, a game of tag, a hide and seek with me still counting. They are back and we regroup, slowly, and with great effort. I have found something in their absense and I will not let this go, but it will change. It will become less urgent. It will find it's natural place and I will settle into the idea of chastity. They are back and perhaps this takes the pressure off. I am distracted by the flailing of other swimmers. Still I hold your han in the churn of the wider ocean and we remain afloat, together. We remain together. This is my hope for it. This is what I need from it. Together but sparate and without the need for all this sleep-destroying angst.