silent

He does not want me to talk about our sex. If it happens or if not, if it is problematic, or wonderful. Whatever. I am not to speak of it. Without you, my faceless other, I would have nothing much to write about. No 2009 story at all. I return now to the past because there is no present or future. There is just the silence of what is between me and him. The secret sacred marriage vows that strangle me mute. I understand, but it leaves me alone with you, my invisible compilation. My longing and desire made flesh. My mix tape of people I might love.