I was in the Queen Street Mall and there were people everywhere. There were groups of them, giggling couples holding hands, rangy tribes of teenagers hooting to each other across a sea of heads.
I stood in the middle of the throng clutching my map. My coat still held a fug of popcorn and malteezers in its folds. The scent of the cinema. Strange to be standing in the dark when I entered the cinema in the glare of my first day in the city. I am alone and out in the world. Alone. I have never been alone like this. I stood at the bus stop and I realised I had never bought a ticket for myself. I had never read a timetable. I had never sat in the movies without someone beside me. I glanced around at the unfamiliar shops, the people passing, the other lives so full of purpose. Other peoples lives. Nothing to do with my own and I knew now, at last, I was alone. I turned the map over in my hands, matching my direction against the street signs. I had never had to follow a map before. I had been ferried from home to school to the shops and home again. I had never been responsible for my own direction. Now I was free to go anywhere. I was free. I found the street and walked it. Such a long way really, so many unaccompanied steps. I was eighteen, and apart from my walks along the beach I had never walked such a long way alone before.
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